I didn't expect it. No, not at all. But then again, this place shouldn't have been all that difficult to find. What truly should surprise is the fact that for the third time in the last 21 months, I'm actually wasting a whole post and bag loads of my time on something that should be put to rest, for good. I don't care anymore, not of you, nor events of the past. Yes, its true that things came to a head that day, but to accuse me of judging based only on what happened that day take things too far. Your actions over a long period of time convinced me just what sort of a person you were. For men in uniform, its loyalty, and the knowledge that the man next to them can be counted on, that keeps them going. Its the implicit trust in your comrade. Its the knowledge that the uniform makes everyone equals. To me, you didn't seem to know, or care of that bond, that trust that we should all hold dear. To me, you made it clear that you didn't treat us as equals; the events of that day simply making bluntly clear what had been in the air for months. It caused me a great amount of grief for me to know that a comrade was lost, that a person I treated as my brother had chosen to forsake our bonds of fellowship. Argue all you want, but to me, actions speak volumes, and convey a meaning far deeper than words ever can. Its come too far, and been too long, for words. Its too late.Yes, its true that the grief I had turned to hate. But its all past now. I've put the animosity I had for you behind me. But I hold honour and trust as part of the values that shape me. You broke that pact of honour between us, and hence, I see no need for me to uphold my end of that pact. If you so choose to come, then by all means do. I will not seek to put you in a difficult position, nor to dampen the mood. We only want to enjoy ourselves, and so we will. But you cannot expect me to welcome you as my comrade, as my brother, for that time is long past. I will treat you with the respect that a former comrade deserves, but nothing more. That is all you can expect of me. We may share a common past, as comrades, but that is all that will be: the past. I wish to put an end to this chapter, to bring a close to something that should have ended a long time ago. Let this all die away like it should. To let it go on will only lead to the reopening of old wounds, and we all know that it would do no one any good then. Just leave it, let it die, like it should.
i heard the crickets at 10:26 am
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